What's On My Mind

Wow...as of late there has been a lot going on in the rafters of my little pee brain. I have several choices to make in the next few months. Some will be good and I'm sure will be bad. The first thing on the list is where I am going to do my internship at. Well I see it this way; it will either be at the current church that I am attending, the Journey, or my home town church, First Baptist Church of De Soto. I got an application to fill out for the Journey but I don't think I'll be filling it out. Not because it is a long list of things to do but because I really think I should go back to my home church where they have helped me out so much over the years. Also, the Journey internship would probably drive me into the ground with all the fund raising and I would have to commit to a full year. Then I wouldn't be able to go to the seminary that I would want to attend which I will talk about next.

Next thing on the list is what am I going to do when I graduate? This struck me about a couple months ago that I should think about seminary. So I did some digging and I think I found the place I really want to go to...Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary. It's in Forth Worth, TX if you didn't know. It has a concentration that I have found to be very interesting...Christian Ethics. This is under the umbrella of the Masters in Divinity program where I would take 12 extra hours toward this concentration. I might even use my elective credits to finish up the division of Christian Ethics. Now my purpose is not to become a pastor! My purpose for wanting to get an M. Div. in Christian Ethics is to merely increase my knowledge and ability to minister within the church. I still feel completely called to the Music Ministry as a Music Minister but I feel that I would be lacking in my teaching ability as a minister which is why I prefer Music Minister over Worship Leader. I want to be more then a guy who plays or sings music on Sunday mornings and prepares all week for music. I want to be a minister who does music on Sundays as well!

All this stuff sounds all well and good but now I find myself in a greater dilemma...money! I keep thinking about how I might pay for school, live in a university apt., get food, pay insurance on a car, health insurance to live in university apartments, gas, etc. I just got enough money to pay for my first semester at Southwestern, if I get accepted that is. I don't want to have to deal with loans and borrowing money. I would already get half-off of tuition for being Southern Baptist but I really don't qualify for many other scholarship opportunities. Why does money always have to cause so much grief?!

Now here is the final problem...I have to actually apply for the place that I would like to attend! Then I have to get accepted! I have completed about half of the application but I keep stalling when it comes to finishing the whole thing. I guess it's just the thought of being far away from friends, MBU, my dad and I have an awesome work environment that pays me well for how long I've been there. All I can do is surrender it to God. He holds my life, my future, my plans in His hands. For as much as I worry, I should be on me knees more often taking it in prayer to God!