The End of This and the Start of a New...This :)

So I think I'm going to stop using this blog. Probably in the next couple weeks I will build one up and title it better for the vision or pursuit that I want it to take. Yup so hopefully I will test my creativity, or the lack there of, when it comes to writing and aesthetics of the website. It might not even be on blogspot... In any case, thanks for reading for those who read, which is few of you :) Looking forward to the change that is to come. Maybe more fun, exciting, and not so much the telling of how my day went :) Hopefully make things either more concise, academic, but yet have some articles that are more loose.

Confusion...Indecisiveness...Doubt...for what? Part 2

So here I am at Midwestern in Kansas City, MO (May 29th) checking it out to see what some of my close friends have been hollering about. I'm on main campus, which in my mind is not much to look at but not a good enough reason to toss the seminary. It covers a lot of ground with not a whole lot of structures to balance it so it gives you one of those, "I'm back from the city Ma!" feelings. I'm on my tour with Rusty, the admissions director I believe, and we are just sitting in his office one on one talking about the seminary, my call to ministry, what my vision looks like and on and on. Then it's lunch time and we go with a couple checking out the seminary and Dr. McAlpin who is the Dean of Students which by the way, Dr. McAlpin is a stud in my opinion. He is a man searching after the truth and not necessarily tradition while instated in a school/convention that is traditional and somewhat over conservative.

After lunch I told Dr. McAlpin some pretty upfront but honest statements about why I at first never considered Midwestern. I told him that I was told to look elsewhere, that Southern was the way to go, and that the school itself was under some kind of transition. With those statements I asked him, "Now do you know why they might have told me these things?" He fired right back with well thought out, concerned, and wise words concerning the convention, school, and staff. He explained that the transition is really about the convention of the MBC more so then the school itself. He continued with the super conservatives that were in office at the time basically being pushed out because of their legalism. I believe the words he said, "They got embarassed." When it came to the staff he went right out there and said that he would match their staff with Southern any day. Now he didn't say how well they would do but was/is willing to put them on the front lines against what most consider some of the best minds of theology in our day as a whole.

After this visit I explained to him the fact that I was forced to live on campus do to finances but that I was wanting an off-campus apartment to be close to a church plant that I knew of in Midtown Kansas City, MO (Midtown Community Church). He got on the phone and gave me a name of someone he knew and said that he would probably be in contact with me. It wasn't but 10 mins later and I got a call from Andrew who has a 3 bedroom apartment wanting 4 guys total (needing 2 more) and after the initial costs of the deposit and such it would only be $150/month!

So here I am driving back to my home of St. Louis thinking wow I could really live here, do ministry with a new and thriving body of believers, have a cheap way to go about schooling and living expenses, and go to a school where I feel comfortable with the staff. Here is the catch...I decided to go back and visit Southern the very next weekend!

To be continued...

Confusion...Indecisiveness...Doubt...for what? Part 1

In recent weeks I have been beating my brain, talking to several individuals whose opinions I respect very much, and I have been receiving headaches over these phrases: "Everything is up to date in Kansas City" and "Louisville Sluggers". What I'm talking about here is which seminary do I attend?

Since about late February maybe early March I was sold on the fact that I was going to attend The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. I was highly influenced to make this decision by the staff members of my home church of FBC De Soto and by faculty/staff members of Missouri Baptist University. At first of course I was not wanting to go there because that is all our religion department students talked about and I was not really too fond of that particular student body as a whole. But alas I applied, got accepted, made a deposit for housing and was very much on my way to Louisville 5 months prior to me leaving St. Louis. Now here comes the kicker.

My roommate and close friend Arthur went to Midwestern Baptist Theological Seminary to pick up his brother Cody. Cody was gone on mission in the Sudan of Africa for 15 months! Upon his return, May 23rd I think, Arthur explained to me that he had a campus tour at Midwestern and that he had made the choice of going there over MidAmerica (Memphis, TN) and Southern. He continued to chatter about the whole experience and his conversation with Dr. McAlpin who is the Dean of Students of MBTS. It got me thinking and on a whim, I made an appointment that night to go have a campus tour at MBTS for the following Friday. That is where the confusion, indecisiveness, and doubt began.

To be continued...

God's Mission

Alright so a couple weeks ago we had a small dialogue in one of my classes about "God's Mission". Well, it seemed like it was anonymous around the class that "God's Mission" is to redeem humanity. I could not be more concerned about how much we think about ourselves over what God's true mission is.

When I was first asked the question I said, "To make God famous!" The response is actually a little too simple and should have been more like, "To spread His Gospel Truth wherever we are." In any case, I was shot down as that response being the full picture of "God's Mission." The problem I have with that is this, "That would mean that God has failed!" This is not truth!!! God has not failed. I'm sorry ya'll to break it to you but...people go to Hell! When people go to Hell, it means that they are not redeemed and if "God's Mission" is to redeem humanity, that would mean He has fallen short of it which I am not sorry to say is NOT TRUE!!! The simpler truth of God's Mission is this, "Spread the Truth of the Gospel" We forget the fact that the cross was not about us...or at least not in its entirety. Humanity was secondary if even that when it came to giving God the Father glory over all. God did not think of us "Above All" as the song portrays that some of us have grown to know.

The day that Jesus was crucified and died, was the day that justice (wrath) and grace kissed! His great affection for us whom He created and the justice that we so deserved because we sinned and smeared God's name in the dirt became intimate at the moment of Christ being crucified. He is first and He is last. The Alpha and the Omega. God giving us mercy and grace and love is to give Himself glory. God's rage against man's evil was put on the Lamb to give God glory. God's Mission is proclaiming Himself and sharing the wonders of who He is, what He has done, and what He will do. God's Gospel is above "our" redemption. This is not to downplay the fact that God loves us and that He gave His Son for us but it is to show that His love was/is based on Him being praised, glorified, and honored on His terms.

We are not the center of the Bible...our redemption is not the center of the Bible...God and His Truth is the center of the Bible. When we all realize, myself included, that it is about God and His glory more so then us being redeemed (those who are regenerated) the better our worship to God will be.

Our discipleship will be greater...our evangelism will be greater...and our God will be most glorified in us.

A Note to God from Haiti

When I was in Haiti, which is where I'll be going again this summer, Gary Hippolite asked all of us to write a letter to God. I can't quite remember all the specifics that he asked us to write to God but in any case I just received the letter that I wrote over 8 months ago. Here is what I wrote, bad grammar and all:

Dear God,

What you have shown me here is beyond anything that I have ever gone through. You brought a broken, weak minded, lacking faith boy here to Haiti. My thoughts about going to this trip was like any other I had gone to. You have truly shown what service is. You have truly shown what was said in Hebrews about how you will never leave us or forsake us. Us being your children. Us being the people of Haiti. You have staked your claim on this island. You have taken me, a person whose lack of confidence in himself and in your power to a place that I can never be the same. You have brought me to repentance, you have brought me to humility, and I was able to lean on people whom I barely know. It is by your love and grace only that these things were possible. God you have brought me drive and vision to spread your word to people who are unable to appreciate all the things they have been blessed with. You have brought me to a place of grace. You have brought me to a place of community. You have brought (me) to a place of family. Lord, I know that (you) have been willing me to step out into the harvest and be a laborer for the kingdom. I may not know where I'm going or what I'm doing but I know that in all things and all that I do I will bring you glory. I will show your light. I can't be afraid anymore to step out or to over wait. God I know you are calling me to do greater things. Even though I am weak, your strength is made perfect. You say in your word that I am indispensable. The purpose you brought me here to Haiti was to express the faith I have in (you) that I hide so conveniently. Lord, I know that it is only by you that your light can shine through me and in me. God as you were building that house for those needy people, you were building a house in me! One that was much firmer and stronger than the one I tried building myself. Thank you Lord for the compassion you have for your people. Thank you Lord for drawing us near to you even when we are drifting far from you. Oh Lord I love thee! Your will above all else my purpose remains. The thought of losing myself in bringing you praise.

Your undone and willing servant,
John Barnes